Can You Vague That Up For Me?

Bronwyn Green's Random Thoughts

Misreads and one that wasn’t

I misread things all the time. All the freaking time. So when I was on my way home from the car dealership the other day, and I saw a sign in front of a small deli that said “Human Hair On Sale Now!” I was positive I’d misread the sign.

Nope…not this time. There really was human hair on sale at the deli. Ewwwwww.

But it made me think of some of my favorite misreads. There was the time I was looking up the number for the “Grand Rapids Dominicans” – only I read, the “Grand Rapids Dominatrixes.”

Another was a sign in front of a church. It said, “Polar Expedition Vacation Bible School.” I read “Bipolar Exhibitionism Vacation Bible School.” I actually has to slow down and drive around the block so I could reread the sign. I was a little disappointed when I did.

Sometimes I’ll even combine two lines of text. For instance, there were these two headlines. “Blast Kills Six in Sri Lanka” and “How to Pick the Perfect Christmas Tree.” However, I read
“The Perfect Christmas Tree Kills Six in Sri Lanka.” I had this horrible mental image of a perfectly decorated tree – you know, something out of a Marshal Field’s display, walking down the street and strangling people with strands of lights and garland.

So, do you guys ever misread things? I know Brynn, Margaret and Jen do. Got any gems you want to share? What about the rest of you?

Here’s something that’s not a misread. Today, is the last day of the Eternally Yours Contest.

Eternally Yours Contest

What could you spend an eternity doing? What is your passion? Your hunger? Your deepest desire? Each day beginning February 5 and running through February 14 one of the ten authors will complete the line, “My darling I could spend eternity…” on either their blog or website. Collect all ten answers and e-mail them to anny@annycook.com with Eternally Yours in the subject line to win some hot, romantic books. There will be three lucky Valentine winners.

The prizes –

1st prize–5 books
2nd prize–3 books
3rd prize–2 books

Entries must be in by February 16 at midnight EST. All books and prize winners will be drawn randomly.

Sandra Cox Silverhills
Mona Risk To Love a Hero
Brynn Paulin Tribute For the Goddess
Bronwyn Green Mystic Circle
Cindy Spencer Pape Stone and Earth
N.J. Walters Seduction of Shamus O’Rourke
Elyssa Edwards Mating Stone
Amarinda Jones Shades of Gray
Kelly Kirch Time for Love
Anny Cook Honeysuckle

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9 thoughts on “Misreads and one that wasn’t

  1. “I had this horrible mental image of a perfectly decorated tree – you know, something out of a Marshal Field’s display, walking down the street and strangling people with strands of lights and garland.”Holy LOL, Batman! You just about killed me with this line.

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  2. How about that one your hubby did, “Be a star on porn night?”Only, the sign said, “Be a star on prom night.”

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  3. Yeah, it’s easy to misread those signs where they put the plastic letters up? Sometimes they put the letters too close.Geez haven’t thought about the Marshall Field’s displays in years. We used to take the kids down to the Chicago loop to look at the windows back when we lived there. Wow… long time ago.

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  4. My favorite one I’ve ever misread was on Yahoo! where the headlines above and below said “The Late Ray Charles Remembered” and “Gunman Opens Fire On New Jersey Mall; Kills 1”. Of course, I read “The Late Ray Charles Opens Fire On New Jersey Mall; Kills 1.”

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  5. Then there was the time I saw the sign at the pizza parlor that read “Gifted Children Pizza.” I was wondering if it was one of those things where they give pizza for good grades, or–more horribly–a pizza with gifted children topping. Ewwww.A second look told me the answer.“Gift certificates available.”

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  6. It’s not so much that human hair was for sale. It’s that it was for sale at the *deli*. Which makes me wonder…what kind of meat are they selling and where are they getting it? Eew!I misread stuff all the time but since am sick and oxygen deprived, cannot think of a single one.However, favorite faux pas on a sign was this:Jesus is our raisin savior…No matter how many times I read it, it still said raisin. And it took ’em about a week to fix it. lol.xoxoS

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  7. The only one I can remember is the “Let’s Learn” teacher’s store sign which I still misread as “Let’s Lesbian.” As if lesbian was a verb.Oh, and the sign at Applebee’s today announcing Thrsday’s specials.

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  8. You’re too funny.I do that, but not misread – I have lousy hearing so I mishear. What I mishear is often as funny and outrageous as what you misread. I’ll have to think for awhile to remember specific examples.

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  9. LOL:) I’m constantly doing double-takes if I can’t believe what I’m reading on a sign. And like Ashley, I mishear a lot. It drives my hubby crazy. And the kids have learned to use this to their advantage…

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