Have you had your morning embarrassment today?
I know I sure have…
On the way home from driving the kids to school this morning, I got stuck in a hellish traffic jam on the express way. It took over 20 minutes to drive two miles. Unfortunately, I’d polished off a giant cup of coffee much earlier in the trip and I had to go to the bathroom. Badly.
I got off at the first available exit and took the back roads home. I still had to pick up my daycare kids and get them off to school, but I knew I wasn’t going to make it unless I made a pit stop first. So I raced down the side streets like a crazy woman, praying that there weren’t any cops around to catch me speeding and pulled up in front of my house. I was so desperate, I parked facing the wrong direction since it was way quicker and I figured I was just going to get back into the car again as soon as I was done.
After an extremely gratifying visit to the bathroom, I headed out my front door to find a cop parked behind my car, punching my license plate number into his computer. Noticing the car keys in my hand, he pulls up a little, blocking me in. Then he leaned out the window and with a very stern expression, said, “You can’t park facing left, ma’am.”
And because I rarely think before opening my mouth, I blurted, “I know, I know, but I had to pee real bad!”
The poor guy was clearly trying not to laugh and thankfully let me go with a warning. However, he was shaking his head as he drove away…yeah…I have that effect on men.
Memo to me: No more bladder buster cups of coffee in the morning.