Can You Vague That Up For Me?

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Have you had your morning embarrassment today?

I know I sure have…

On the way home from driving the kids to school this morning, I got stuck in a hellish traffic jam on the express way. It took over 20 minutes to drive two miles. Unfortunately, I’d polished off a giant cup of coffee much earlier in the trip and I had to go to the bathroom. Badly.

I got off at the first available exit and took the back roads home. I still had to pick up my daycare kids and get them off to school, but I knew I wasn’t going to make it unless I made a pit stop first. So I raced down the side streets like a crazy woman, praying that there weren’t any cops around to catch me speeding and pulled up in front of my house. I was so desperate, I parked facing the wrong direction since it was way quicker and I figured I was just going to get back into the car again as soon as I was done.

After an extremely gratifying visit to the bathroom, I headed out my front door to find a cop parked behind my car, punching my license plate number into his computer. Noticing the car keys in my hand, he pulls up a little, blocking me in. Then he leaned out the window and with a very stern expression, said, “You can’t park facing left, ma’am.”

And because I rarely think before opening my mouth, I blurted, “I know, I know, but I had to pee real bad!”

The poor guy was clearly trying not to laugh and thankfully let me go with a warning. However, he was shaking his head as he drove away…yeah…I have that effect on men.

Memo to me: No more bladder buster cups of coffee in the morning.

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4 thoughts on “Have you had your morning embarrassment today?

  1. LOL:) I learned the hard way I cannot drink more than two cups of coffee in the morning.Picture this: Me, on the Special Ed bus, coffee cup in hand as we head to pick up the first kid. Fifteen minutes later, I am pleading with my driver to quit hitting every bump in the road as we head to the next kid’s house, who was a neighbor of mine and would let me run inside to use her restroom! I also had to stop at the last kid’s house…and the elementary school…and the high school…My driver laughed at me and it became the joke of the day when the other drivers and monitors met us for breakfast two hours later!

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  2. You drink coffee now? Come, join me on the dark side….

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  3. Yeah, that would happen to me. Never drink coffee before heading out…

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  4. The #1 rule of traveling (even to a school):Never pass up the opportunity to pee.#2 rule (I knew you’d ask)Never underestimate the kindness of strangers (unless they’re in a dark alley, then, yeah, watch out)#3 rule (locale specific)When in Rome, follow the nuns

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