What is it with me and cops?
Some of you may remember my run-in with the cop after I parked the wrong way in front of my house a few weeks ago because of the whole too-many-cups-of-coffee-issue.
Well, the weirdness continues…
Yesterday, I pulled up in front of my house after dropping the kids to school and I heard a plastic-y crunching noise. So I got out and looked and there was a pile of credit cards. I figured maybe one of my neighbors dropped them, but when I picked them up, I realized that they belong to several different people.
So, I brought them inside and called the non-emergency police number to find out what to do with them. The guy I spoke to said they’d send someone out to fetch them. When the knock on my door sounded, I grabbed the cards and peeked to make sure it was the police and stopped dead. It was the same dude from the “I had to pee real bad” incident. Now this may seem reasonable, but we have a police force of almost 250 officers, which means there are 80-90 cops per 12 hour shift. Even with our city divided up into quadrants, that’s still 20-25 cops for my area of town.
I went out onto the porch and we had the following conversation.
Cop: (with his hand on the handle of his taser) “I hear you found some credit cards.”
Me: “Yes I did. Here…these are for you.” (I handed him the plastic sandwich bag where I’d stored the credit cards so I wouldn’t lose them. You might think it wouldn’t be possible to lose a pile of eleven cards in an hour, but I’m amazing and can misplace anything in three seconds flat.)
Cop: “So, you found them in your backyard?”
Me: (befuddled by the fact that it’s the same cop) “Yes. Wait…no. Not in the backyard.”
Cop: “In the front yard”
Me: Yes. Wait…no.”
Cop: (Eying me a little strangely.) “Well, where did you find them?”
Me: “By your car.”
Cop: (Suspicious weird look aimed my way – at this point, I was worried that he was starting to think I’d stolen them myself)
Me: “I mean, I found them in the street, where the front end of your car is. Sorry…they’re a little gritty – I kinda ran over them. Accidentally.”
Cop: (Flipping through the cards) “Well, I’ll take these back to the station. Thanks for calling this in.”
Me: “No problem. Um…by the way, thanks for not giving me a ticket a few weeks ago for parking the wrong way.”
Cop: (Clearly trying not to laugh) “Yeah…I thought that was you.”
I worry that there’s file that has my name on it and it’s getting bigger by the month. If there is such a file, I’m guessing it says things like “crazy” or “odd behavior.” Oh well, at least it wasn’t the same cop who came to visit me when Betty the Biddy called about my children dancing naked in the rain.
Small mercies, right?
So does this stuff ever happen to you? I’m hoping it’s not just me, so if you’ve got weird cop stories, let me know that I’m not alone – lol!