Can You Vague That Up For Me?

Welcome to the corner of Quirky and Kinky where you'll fall in love every time you open a book.

Riding in Cars with Boys – Part Three

Somehow, I’ve managed to pick up yet another straggler on the afternoon school run. His name is Andrew…but he goes by Kevin. Why? Because Killian and Justin decided that he looked just like their friend Kevin from elementary school (who went to a different high school) and they started calling him Replacement Kevin, which over the course of the last year and a half has been shortened to Kevin. They’ve also convinced people that Kevin’s known for years, that his name really is Kevin and he just went by Andrew during elementary and junior high school. Kevin’s hilarious, wickedly smart, irreverent and fits in perfectly with the rest of them. So now I have four, gangly teenage boys crammed into my little Saturn.

This is the conversation that took place last week.

Justin: Oh man, how come Mitchell has to sit in the middle?
Killian: Because I got to the front seat first.
Kevin: This isn’t gonna end well. Just sayin’.
Justin: Mitchell get your leg off me. Boundaries! Personal space!!
Kevin: Not cool, dude! So not cool!

I glance into the backseat to see Mitchell sitting with his legs spread and draped over both Justin and Kevin’s laps with a big, dopey grin on his face.

Me: Comfy, Mitchell?
Mitchell: Yepper.

The boys all wave at the parking lot attendants who are completely void of anything resembling a sense of humor and off we go to bring Kevin home.

Justin: For fuck’s sake, Mitchell! What the hell are you doing?
Me: Problem?
Justin: Mrs. Killian’s Mommy, tell Mitchell to quit touching my nipple!
Me: Fwuh?
Kevin: Mrs. Killian’s Mommy, I’m uncomfortable with this.
Me: Mitchell…
Justin: I feel violated, Mrs. Killian’s Mommy.
Kevin: I feel violated by association, Mrs. Killian’s Mommy.
Killian: I feel glad I’m in the front seat.
Me: Mitchell, I can’t believe I have to say this, but quit touching Justin’s nipple.
Justin: Mitchell, I’m going to break your damn fingers.
Mitchell: These things wouldn’t happen if I got to sit in the front.

After we dropped Kevin off, Mitchell retreated to the other side of the back seat. After a while, he leaned forward and started groping Killian.

Killian: Knock it off, Mitchell!
Me: Mitchell, are you touching my son inappropriately?
Mitchell: Yepper. Pretty much.
Killian: Well, quit it!
Mitchell: Next time, let me sit in the front.

I’m guessing Mitchell gets his way today.

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16 thoughts on “Riding in Cars with Boys – Part Three

  1. Dammit, Bron! These are like my new drug of choice. I need more, more I say!

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  2. Mrs. Killian's mommy… I love it!!!!

    But I think I'd put up with a little nipple teasing to get the front seat if I were Killian. Just saying…

    So very cool, dude. So very cool.

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  3. Oh My God! LOL!

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  4. I'm mouthcoveringly horrifiedly delighted by these boys. And having been front seat girl with you and a few rounds… OMG!!! I love them.

    PS. I guess with four boy people there's no way I can tag along when I come up for visits now. Because there's no way I'm having boy on my lap or nipple touching by minors.

    hazzing a sadz.

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  5. Car rides are so much fun. I am happy you shared this is so funny.

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  6. Oh my dog! I am crying and my sides hurt. My day is made, I tell you. Made!

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  7. I read this two times and laughed just as hard the second time. lol

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  8. OMG. I'm in so much trouble in a few years. Thanks for the preview.

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  9. Hmm. Look at the number of m/m authors who have commented. Be very, very afeared. 😉

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  10. ROFLMAO!

    'Mrs. Killian's Mommy…'

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  11. OMG, I love your Killian et al stories. I swear sometimes I think these boyz get together and plan their next “scene” just to make your blog.

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  12. @ Carol – So often, there are so many scattered bits of conversations going on at once, it's hard to makes them into anything cohesive. On days like that, they're like ADHD toddlers that slammed several cans of Monster – or they're earnestly discussing W.o.W and no one needs to hear that!

    @ Delaney – the Mrs. Killian's Mommy cracks me up every single time!

    @ Brynn – I bet you'd have the same thing if you were the carpool mom. 😉

    @ Jen – Just wait 'til Jen Jrs. are this age.

    @ Mia – Kevin doesn't ride home with us everyday – I'll see if I can find out his schedule. I'd hate to deprive you of such boy-ful enjoyment.

    @ Cinderella – thanks for coming by – I'm glad you liked it. 😀

    @ Margaret – Yay – I love making your day!

    @ Jambrea – I wish I had a dash cam, so you could see and hear it, too!

    @ Jacqueline – Don't worry, hon. Plenty of time to acclimated to the insanity. Z will break you in nice and slow. 😉

    @ Chris – lol – thanks for that!

    @ Molly – I hate to be called Mrs. but I can't help but love this name.

    @ Devon – Believe it or not, Mitchell (bless his heart) has no idea what a blog is, Kevin has no idea what I do and Justin thinks my pen name is Britney Something or other. Killian wisely keeps his mouth shut lest he be W.o.W.less. 😉

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  13. Oh jesus Bron…this installment is an instant classic for me! I was laughing so hard I was crying and so was my mom. 🙂

    Mrs. Killian's mommy…this is awesome! Its so catchy that you can't help but laugh at it! And I'm with Killian…I'll take the front seat anyday! LOL

    These boys are the best…thanks for sharing them with us!

    Like

  14. Hey Bron,

    I can't help but think that you've got a winning script here for some television show or movie…

    Hilarious!

    Best,
    Lisabet

    Like

  15. kavita on said:

    Mrs. Killian's Mommy, you are so way, way cool with them crazy boys!! *grins*

    Like

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