Riding in Cars with Boys – Part Six
Well the school year is over – thankfully! I thought I’d only have one more Riding in Cars With Boys posts, but I actually have two! YAY!
A few weeks before Prom, we passed a burgundy minivan covered with white paint. It said, Will you go to Prom with me? Answer on my car.”
Justin: Well that’s just stupid.
Me: I dunno. It’s kinda sweet.
Justin: No it’s not, and here’s why. What if she doesn’t know who asked her?
Killian: Or doesn’t know which car is his?
Not-Kevin: Or doesn’t have paint to write her answer?
Justin: Meh. She could always scratch in her answer with her key.
Killian: That would suck if she got the wrong car.
Justin: If I were gonna ask a girl to Prom like that, I’d sit on the roof of my van and it would have a sail made out of a bed sheet and one of those poles, like a on a ship.
Killian: You mean a mast?
(I’m sure you can feel the sarcasm from there)
Justin: Yeah. A mast. And one of those wooden steering wheels.
Killian: Uh…a helm?
Justin: I don’t know – is that what it’s called?
Justin: How do you even know that stuff?
Killian: I’m not stupid. Besides…Pirates. It’s important to know stuff about them.
Mitchell: Seriously, dude. Even I know that.
Not-Kevin: You know, if we were pirates, we could sail to Girl Island.
Me: Girl Island?
Killian: It’s a magical place.
Justin: A magical place full of hot girls who love nerds.
Not-Kevin: I want to sail there.
Me: I have news for you. Girl Island is called college.
After we dropped off Not-Kevin, the overly sweet scent of strawberries wafted through the car.
Justin: (sniffing frantically) What is that smell? I smell strawberries!
Killian: OhMyGod I want strawberries so bad. Can we get strawberries? Now?
Justin: Seriously! Where’s it coming from?
Mitchell: (Sheepishly holding out a tube of lip balm) My lips are cracked.
Justin: (Looking from Mitchell to Killian and finally back to Mitchell with an expression of sheer incredulousness.) Dude…you’re a chick!
Last week, they had final exams, and they all piled into the car bitching about how lame their exams were. Apparently long doesn’t equal challenging. Except for Mitchell. He insisted that all of his were hard.
Not-Kevin: Wanna know what I hate?
Me: What’s up with the skanks?
Not-Kevin: I hate the way that they think that because they’re pretty that entitles them to cheat off my test. I don’t exist for the entire year and because they smile at me and flash some cleavage I’m supposed to share my answers. I think not.
Killian: Lindsey? She drives me nuts. I can’t stand the sound of her voice.
Justin: The one who whines all the time and talks through her nose?
Killian: Yeah. I wish she’d just shut up. And stop looking at my work.
Mitchell: She’s orange.
Killian: Like a bleach blonde miniskirt wearing oompa loompa.
Justin: She gets excused absences to go tanning.
Not-Kevin: And some day her face will look like an old leather wallet.
Justin: I’m pretty sure that day is tomorrow.
You know what makes me happy about all this? They’re completely aware of the fact that girls like Lindsey are looking to use them and they’re not falling for it. Well done, guys. Well done.