Can You Vague That Up For Me?

Bronwyn Green's Random Thoughts

Riding in Cars with Boys – Part Seven

Well, the school year has begun, and I’m slowly adjusting to dragging my poor body out of bed at the asscrack of dawn.

I had horrible news on the first day of school – Mitchell would no longer be riding home with us – except on half days. We were all completely bummed out. Riding without Mitchell? Who would ask the obvious questions? Who would touch Justin inappropriately to get his way? Who would try to lasso mailboxes as we drove by?

Killian, Justin and Not-Kevin were as bummed out as I was. Not-Kevin missed Mitchell so much, he named his backpack Mitchell and occasionally sticks his hand inside it and makes it speak – puppet-style. Interestingly enough, the faux Mitchell actually says very Mitchell-like things.

Though it’s been an adjustment not to have Mitchell with us every day, the after school rides are still entertaining beyond belief. This was the conversation that took place Friday as soon as Killian, Justin and Not-Kevin piled into the car.

Justin: Mrs. Killian’s Mommy, we need a Horn o’ Gondor.

Me: I hate to break it to you, but the ring has been destroyed, there’s no need to call together the Fellowship.

Not-Kevin: And that’s why you’re the cool mom. You know of nerd-like things. But we still need the horn.

Me: So why do you need the Horn of Gondor?

Justin: Not the Horn of Gondor – the Horn ‘o Gondor. There’s a difference and we totally need to call together the Fellowship.

Killian: There’s a quest!

Not-Kevin: We need a boat!

Me: Does this have something to do with Girl Island?

Justin: How did you know? See, Johnny-boy-D is having some trouble with the ladies.

Me: The boat was a dead giveaway. What kind of trouble?

Justin: The kind where the girl he likes is love with this dude who doesn’t know she’s alive and she cries on Johnny-boy-D’s shoulder all the time, and meanwhile, he’s going “I’m here! Pick me! I know you’re alive!” but…

Me: But…he’s firmly in the Friend Zone?

Justin: Exactly! And even though there are epic tales of guys who have escaped the Friend Zone, we all secretly know it’s impossible. They’re just myths passed down to give nerds hope. So we need the Horn o’ Gondor to call together the Fellowship and venture forth to seek Girl Island, the land of hot girls who love nerds.

Me: I thought we’d established that Girl Island was college.

Not-Kevin: Dude, you can’t expect us to wait that long! Besides, the island is out there. It has to be.

Me: I think we’ve exceeded the maximum level of melodrama this car can contain.

Justin: I bet you know where the Horn o’ Gondor is and just won’t tell us.

Killian: It’s probably in her purse.

After convincing them that the Horn o’ Gondor wasn’t in my purse, I suggested that they find a hot girl who loves nerds and just ask her the way to Girl Island. I suggested Justin’s older brother’s girlfriend.

Justin: No can do, Mrs. Killian’s Mommy. It’s like once they get here, they have no memory of Girl Island.

Killian: It’s a brainwashing technique to keep Girl Island from being overrun by desperate nerds in need of love.

Me: So hot girls are sent forth from Girl Island with nothing more than a vague desire to meet nerdy boys who play W.o.W. and Starcraft?

Not-Kevin: And Halo!!!

Justin: Well, when you say it like that…

Me: Okay, no more disparaging of your mythos. Who’s all in the Fellowship?

Justin: Well, me, obviously, Johnny-boy-D, Other John,

Not-Kevin: Me! Me! But not your kid.

Me: Killian can’t be part of the Fellowship?

Justin: A.) He already has a girlfriend who’s been brainwashed and can’t tell us the way back to Girl Island and B.) I think said girlfriend would be very upset if Killian joined the Fellowship.

Killian: Uh…yeah. That would so not be cool.

Not-Kevin: Plus, that would just be greedy. Are you sure the Horn o’ Gondor isn’t in your purse?

I’m seriously tempted to make them a horn and bring it to school one of these days.

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23 thoughts on “Riding in Cars with Boys – Part Seven

  1. How old are these boys again? Cause sister when they start High School your entire outlook on life as you know it will vanish into thin air.

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  2. Yay! Another year of AWESOME has begun! And yes, you totally need to make the horn o' Gondor. LOL. It needs to be sparkly and vaguely (very vaguely) feminine looking. Why? Because girls travel in herds and packs. A horn that resembles girl things would be like one of the pack calling to them… and besides, I think these straight boys would be horrified if you made the horn phallic. Just sayin'.

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  3. @ Cinderella – Actually, they're in high school – they're 15 & 16. πŸ™‚ So far, it's been a trip!

    @ Mia – I'm totally going to suggest that the Horn o' Gondor be bedazzled when I pick them up. πŸ˜€

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  4. oh no… not more bedazzling!

    Gotta love the boys… just one tiny little favour… can you get Aragon for me, while you're using this mighty horn to get the hot chicks… there's gotta be one guy allowed for what sounds like 4 or 5 hot chicks… just saying.

    I had a house full of boys this weekend.. I think I topped out at 8. Maybe I should start a post… living in a house with boys… most of which aren't yours, lol.

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  5. Theresa Grant on said:

    I thought mother's purses had everything!

    love these posts!

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  6. I must say I enjoy the riding in cars posts. I have girls in my car and they're very secretative.

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  7. I love the riding in the car with boys posts – reminder to self never drink anything while reading because the e-geek will have a conniption when he has to try an remove liquid from the new 'puter.

    Agree with Mia – the horn totally needs sparkles.

    I have middle school girls in the house – they giggle and try not to talk loud about the boys they like

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  8. I've seen your purse. I firmly believe you have the Horn 'o Gondor in there somewhere. Let it out and let the fellowship find Girl Island!!!

    I love these posts! I had my own mini-Riding with Boys moment on Friday night when I took my oldest and his friend (7th graders) to the first event at school this year. What a hoot!

    Suzanne

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  9. They are so smart and hilarious!!

    I LIVE for these posts. Summer sucked! lol

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  10. JR, I agree! I am living for these posts. I am going through kid withdrawl since my fab five nephews and nieces are too grown to ride with me. They walk! How mean!

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  11. They'll probably not accept anything as the Horn of Gondor if it doesn't match what they saw onscreen. πŸ™‚

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  12. I like the idea of locking on the girls on an island so all the boys just have other boys. πŸ™‚

    I adore your mommy skillz.

    ~smooches~

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  13. All is well. The boys are back! And their very astute driver. Thanks for the laughs. Temple Hogan

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  14. I have to say, Bron, that your replies are as cool as theirs! No wonder they talk like this to you!

    Hugs,
    Lisabet

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  15. @ Kris – Hey, if I can find Aragorn, I'll totally share. I'm not too greedy. πŸ˜‰ You can have a Being Overrun by Boys blog. πŸ˜‰

    @ Theresa – According to the hubby, there's a Buick engine in my purse somewhere…

    @ Amber – I bet girls are fun, but I do love these talkative boys.

    @ Simone – It's so funny, at this point I'm not sure what I'd do with a house full of gigging girls. πŸ˜€

    @ Suzanne – I suppose I should double check the purse again – lol! Yay for mini-riding in cars with boys!

    @ jrpatrick – It sucked for me too – I missed them!

    @ Susilien – They walk?!? And deprive you? That is mean!

    @ Chris – Now I have to bust out the LToR movies. I wanna make it as 'real' as possible. πŸ˜‰

    @ Jase – LOL! I'm not sure how they'd feel about that, but I suspect Mitchell might be open to it… πŸ˜‰

    @ Temple – I'm glad you're amused by them too! Thanks for coming to visit.

    @ Lisabet – Awwww, thanks! πŸ˜€ I do love that they talk to me like this. Bestest boys ever!

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  16. Aw! I'm sad there's no more Mitchell and I only know him through your wonderful blogs. The boys are adorable as always and yes, the horn o' Gondor needs the sparklies.
    Thank you for not only being an awesome mom, but sharing with the rest of us. ^_^

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  17. OMG, this is so awesome! It's wonderful to hear that some teenage boys actually communicate with more than grunts and one-syllable replies. πŸ™‚

    Who says moms don't have awesome adventures? *G*

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  18. I want a post the very first half day of school. I must, must, must know what Mitchell is up to.

    And also? Girlfriend, I've seen your purse. I could totally believe that the horn of Gondor–or anything really–was in there.

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  19. aww! YAY for Mitchell!

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  20. Yes! Make a horn that fits into your purse. Then tell them sometimes size doesn't matter – it's how hard you blow.

    OK, perhaps they aren't ready for that, but it's still funny.
    πŸ˜€ πŸ˜‰
    XO
    G.

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  21. @ Anna – {{{Hugs}}} Thanks. πŸ™‚ And I promise to post a picture of the horn after I make it!

    @ Margaret – It's important to have everything you need at your fingertips…even the Horn of Gondor.

    @ Jase – Mitchell is his own special brand of awesome.

    @ Genella – I'm pretty sure I don't need to go there with them at this point in time. πŸ™‚

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  22. @ Sonya – (oops! missed you last time) I'm the Queen Mum of Awesome Adventures! πŸ˜‰

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  23. What great memories you're making.

    Bedazzle their horn o'Gondor – LOL. Even my girls would be horrified. Of course my girls are tom boys.

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