Riding in Cars with Boys – Part Thirteen
I was recently asked about the Riding in Cars with Boys posts and if they know how cute and smart they are and if they know I post these blogs.
The answer to the first question is that I think they amuse each other and respect each other’s intelligence so there’s always a sense that it’s “game on” when they’re together – particularly with their verbal sparing. I think if you asked them if they were smart, they’d tell you that they get good grades. I don’t think they realize at all just how bright they are. Which is probably good for all the parents involved. 😉
The answer to the second question is much easier and quicker to answer. They don’t know at all. It’s for a couple reasons. One is purely the selfish reason of I didn’t want them to clam up because I enjoy them so much. Even if I didn’t share with you guys, I’d still be writing this stuff down, because it makes my happy. The second is because I didn’t want them to play to an audience and try to top themselves constantly. I’d just like them to be them. When they graduate, I’ll give them each a bound copy of the awesomeness that is them.
So this is just them. Unvarnished boyness.
There’s been a lot of talk of Girl Island recently. Not-Kevin has a crush on a girl who may have the good sense to like him back. For several days in a row, he arrived at the car positively giddy.
Me: You’re awfully happy today, what’s up.
Not-Kevin: Ballroom dancing.
Me: Seriously? You guys have football, crew, equestrian club, water polo and ballroom dancing at this school? WTF?
Justin: Not dancing. But the rest? Yes.
Killian: This school caters to the rich and bored.
Me: Right. But back to the ballroom dancing. Please to explain.
Justin: Also the rich and bored have bad taste in music. Everyone listens to rap.
Me: You don’t.
Killian: We’re not rich. Or bored.
Me: Touche. But the ballroom dancing?
Not-Kevin: Okay, so everyone in this school – except us – listens to shit for music. Justin Beiber and rap are the only genres.
Justin: Which makes no sense it’s all baby baby, rape, drugs, rape, bitches and hos.
Killian: No one pays attention to the lyrics.
Not-Kevin: So anyway, I was talking to this girl.
Killian and Justin: Who?
Not-Kevin: I dunno. I forget her name. And anyway, we were leaving class and she sarcastically asked me if I wanted to rap. So I said, what should we rap about – bitches and hos? And she said, how about if we rap about how much we love and respect our women?
Me: I like her. I think she’s from the island.
Not-Kevin: I think so, too.
Me: So what did you rap about?
Not-Kevin: Nothing. We couldn’t think of anything of that rhymed with respect, so we ballroom danced down the hall, instead.
Justin: So what’s her name?
Not-Kevin: I don’t remember.
Killian: You danced with her and you don’t remember?
Justin: I call shenanigans.
Killian: I call bullshit.
Justin: (stroking his non-existent beard) I can only think one reason you won’t tell us. You’re embarrassed about her.
Me: Or perhaps he doesn’t want you to introduce yourselves to her for fear that you’ll embarrass him.
Justin: Pffft. We’d never do such a thing.
Justin: Why do all the hot, nerdy girls date douchebags?
Not-Kevin: I think it’s a low self-esteem thing.
Justin: Well, it sucks.
Killian: Kenzie’s a hot nerdy chick.
Justin: Exactly! And she’s dating a douchebag!
Me: Hey! That’s my kid.
Justin: You know what? I’m gonna start interviewing hot, nerdy chicks who are dating douchebags.
Me: You could start your own blog.
Justin: Yeah! And I’ll call it, “So you dated a douchbag.” And Kenzie’s going to be my first guest.
Killian: (laughing) Fuck you.
Justin: Fuck you first.
In case you’re wondering, I’m pretty sure that’s “I love you” in boy.