Can You Vague That Up For Me?

Bronwyn Green's Random Thoughts

I would rather chew glass wrapped in tinfoil than do any of these things.

This week for our Random Wednesday blogging, the topic is “You Couldn’t Pay Me To…” which dovetails really nicely with this picture Corwin, my youngest son just drew for me. (Click to Embiggen.)

I’m thinking this has the potential to be a fairly endless post, because there’s a fuck-ton of things you couldn’t pay me to do. But let’s see how it goes, shall we?

You couldn’t pay me to…

Work in a slaughterhouse. This seems pretty self explanatory. I just couldn’t do it.

Climb mountains. – I’m real lazy. And also clumsy. This seems like a terrible combo.

Work high steel. – See above.

Spend time with clowns or spiders. – I can’t begin to imagine the amounts of anxiety I’d have if this was my lot in life.

Work for the Republican party. — I’m guessing this would just end in tears and recriminations on everyone’s part.

Do math. – It’s really better for everyone if I don’t.

Do anything that involves me putting my hands in other people’s mouths. – Nope. Nope. Nope.

Home sales of any kind. – I’m horrible at selling things. And I’d feel guilty if people impulse shopped and couldn’t afford it.

Be a paparazzo. – I can’t imagine how shitty it would feel to invade people’s privacy like that.

Listen to Van Halen, Hall and Oates or Huey Lewis and the News.Β  I don’t know that there’s any way to adequately explain how very, very much I loathe these bands. Possibly more than Nickelback.

I’m sure there are a crapton more things I rather not do, but this is my list thus far. Check out all the things my lovely blog mates couldn’t be paid to do by clicking on their names. And let us know what you couldn’t be paid to do!

Jess
Kellie
Jen
Kris
Gwen

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9 thoughts on “I would rather chew glass wrapped in tinfoil than do any of these things.

  1. Yep, yep, yep!! Agree with all of them. I cannot stand clowns, they totally creep me out!!!

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  2. PAHAHAHAA I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING! Really the last one just took me by surprise! And although I've always thought you were awesome I am seriously rethinking this. Van Halen!? I like the other two just fine but Van Halen?! I mean how? what? WHY!? Sigh. I guess you're not as perfect as I'd thought… Okay fine you're still awesome I won't let this taint your awesomeness… too much. πŸ˜‰

    Corwin's picture is great! Spider's are definitely a hell no for me. They're evil. Period. Clowns meh. I wouldn't work for either political party. The rest I'm pretty much on board with you for pretty much the reasons you listed. Except the Van Halen thing. πŸ˜‰

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  3. Excellent list. Love C's drawing. πŸ™‚

    The last one made me laugh so hard, btw. LOL

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  4. I still can't believe you hate Hall and Oates. I can't go for that. No can do.

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  5. Well Jenny our Bron is a maneater and that's probably why she's not makin our dreams come true. Ooo ooo woooo oooo

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  6. OMG!!! YOU HATE HALL AND OATS AND HUEY LEWIS AND THE NEWS AS WELL AS NICKELBACK?

    How the hell are we soul sisters? Seriously. You just gutted my entire music library. I'm in shock. Now I must run to rebuild all that is holy inside me.

    All I need is Sarah's Smile, and some Adult Education. Wow, we can all do that.

    And I still don't understand you people and Nickelback. I never will. Chad's voice… maybe not the man but his voice… sigh…

    And I love mountain climbing… we should go πŸ˜€

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  7. No clowns? *sniffles* I still ❀

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  8. I just cried a little over that last one. Just… How?! Hall and Oates mannnn! I wanted to marry the blond when I was little. And Huey! No, you can't hate Huey. And OMFG, who hates Van Halen?! Seriously?! *le sigh*

    P.S. We have to move you to WordPress. Every. Fucking. Week. I have to try three times to post a comment because the captcha isn't readable or the OpenID wants to be an ass. :p

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  9. Tess Grant on said:

    No Hall and Oates? That's just wrong.

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