Rome S01E04: Stealing from Saturn or The One Where James Purefoy is Gloriously Naked
Okay, so you know that title that mentions Naked James Purefoy? Well…there’s literally Naked James Purefoy. Be advised as you scroll.
So, the treasury gold is still missing, everyone’s pissy at Pompey for leaving the city. Pompey’s son, Quintus the Douchebag is sent off to torture the location of the gold out of whoever it seems like a good idea to torture for info. I’m a little foggy on how that gets decided.
Caesar’s back in Rome and implements marshall law, and Atia, ever the good niece and social climber has a party for him and his supporters. But she gets super pouty about Servilla being invited.
Vorenus, having left the army, is looking to start up a home business of truffles, wine and slaves…like you do. And he makes some offerings and decides to have a feast to entice people to do business with him. While the feast is being prepared, Marc Antony summons Vorenus to try to talk him into returning to the army. I can’t remember exactly why because James Purefoy was super naked in that scene. Like really naked. Full frontal and everything.
Unfortunately, Niobe’s sister shows up with her husband, gets drunk off her ass, basically threatens to spill the secret of Niobe’s love child. Meanwhile, the baby’s crying to be nursed, the sister’s behavior gets worse and Niobe tells her former lover to get his sister out of there. Unfortunately, the sister and BIL have a bit of an altercation and knock over the the shrine to whichever god is down with slave trade, truffles and wine. After a collective gasp, the feast has become a disaster zone and everyone leaves.
Meanwhile. Atia’s party is going in full swing and she tries to get her children to perform like puppets for the guests but they’re not interested. Caesar gets his bribe on and promises a temple dude a bunch of cash to make sure the gods bless his endeavors.
Back at Vorenuns’ place, he and Niobe are cleaning up the mess and lamenting the loss of his business before it even starts when Pompey’s douchebag son Quintus shows up and starts roughing up Vorenus and Niobe about the location of the gold.
Happily, Titus Pullo and his new girlfriend, Eriene show up in a litter, tossing coins to the townsfolk. He wanders into Vorenus’ courtyard, not quite grasping what’s happening, but when he does, he tosses a bag of gold coins into the air sending everyone into a frenzy, and he and Vorenus subdue the douchebag.
Vorenus convinces Titus to deliver Quintus to Caesar and Caesar convinces Titus to tell him where Pompey’s treasury is. Pullo is rewarded with some gold, Quintus is returned to Pompey with an offer of a truce, Caesar has an epileptic seizure while he’s talking with Octavian, Atia’s son and Octavian is sworn to secrecy. After Caesar recovers, he sends his wife home and heads off to Servilla’s to continue their affair.
The truce gets rejected and Pullo wanders back to Vorenus’ place and bumbles into the middle of an intense conversation between Niobe and her BIL. In typical Pullo fashion, he sits down and prevents that conversation from continuing.
My favorite part of the episode:
I feel like my favorite part is going to be everyone’s favorite part. And that, my friends, would be a gloriously naked James Purefoy.
My least favorite part of the episode:
Quintus the douchebag.
Is it wrong if I say Naked James Purefoy? Because it’s totally Naked James Purefoy.
Team Atia or Team Servillia, and why:
At this point, I’m still firmly on the side of Team Atia. She’s just so delightfully horrid.
Favorite watch-a-long tweet (obviously used with permission):
Guess Jess’s head canon.
I shall illustrate with tweets.
What made Jenny super happy?