Rome S02E06: Philippi or The One Where Titus Pullo is the Most Polite Hitman Ever
Content Warning: Rape (again)
Rome is getting rough, you guys, and I have serious concerns for (and about) these people!
Okay, so everyone is preparing for war. Brutus and Cassius and their 14 legions are headed to try to wrest Rome back from Octavian while Octavian and Antony are trying to figure out the best way to fuck over Brutus and Cassius. That way, is of course, by killing off any supporters they have in Rome. Atia volunteers a name for the list, and Octavian tells her it can’t be Servillia because he won’t kill women. But instead, Atia gives him the name of Jocasta’s father, saying he’s very wealthy and Octavian can use the money for his army. So, Octavian adds the name to his list.
Timon and his annoying brother are in the synagogue and while there instigate an all out brawl then escape the chaos giggling.
All the names of people who are on Octavian’s list get sent to Vorenus at the Aventine and he divides the names up between all of his gang leaders and tells them they can keep whatever they can carry. Or they can toss their money in the pot and help feed the poor. The gang leaders protest, obviously. But Vorenus gives an impassioned speech and points out that in order for them to survive, they need to change with the times. One of the thugs speaks for the others and they eventually agree to help feed the people. However, that same thug (sorry, no clue about his man) orders one of his skeezy underlings to woo Vorena the Elder. (Seriously, this poor kid…) Oh yeah, and Gaia is clearly trying to seduce Pullo away from Eriene. It’s not working though.
Everyone goes on a murder spree and Pullo and Vorenus incorporate their list into a family picnic in the country. Because nothing says idyllic family togetherness like one of the picnic party wandering off to fulfill his hit-list. While Pullo rides off to murder Cicero, Vorenus, the kids, his sister-in-law Lyde and Eriene frolic in a lovely pastoral scene and Lyde tries to convince Vorenus that they should find a nice man for Vorena the Elder to marry, and Vorenus insists that no decent man will have her since she was a prostitute. Yeah, dad…just keep bringing that up, why don’t you?
A spy in Antony’s camp has gotten word to Cicero about what Antony and Octavian have planned and Cicero knows his time is about up. He quickly writes a letter to Brutus and sends it off with a messenger. Meanwhile, Pullo strolls up and they have a perfectly pleasant conversation about how he needs to murder Cicero. And Cicero asks for a few moments to pull himself together while Pullo admires his peach tree and asks if he can bring some of the fruit back to his wife. Cicero is like “yeah, do what you want”. Cicero says goodbye to his slave who’s freaking out and tells him that in his will he’s freed him and asks him to take care of his people.
When Cicero indicates that he’s ready, Pullo, his bag full of murder peaches, gently tells him that it’ll be easier if he kneels, so he does. Pullo tells Cicero’s slave that it would be better if he didn’t watch, then executes Cicero.
Meanwhile, Cicero’s messenger nearly runs down Lucius who’s playing in the road. The messenger and Vorenus get into it and he loses his letter but he doesn’t notice and Lyde scolds Vorenus and tells him not to beat the guy in front of the children. After the messenger leaves, Pullo returns with peaches for all.
Meanwhile, Octavia and Agrippa have a painfully awkward conversation and share a first kiss. Shortly after, they end up in bed together. They don’t have long because he has to leave to go fight against Brutus. Atia is all good job getting you some of that, but don’t think it’s going anywhere, and Octavia defiantly declares her love for him. And Atia clearly wonders how she ended up with what she considers to be such stupid child.
There’s screaming and a commotion at the door and Jocasta (remember her?) crawls inside–beaten and bloody. Octavia is horrified and asks what happened and Jocasta tells her that men came to her home and murdered all of her family and raped her. Atia watches fairly impassively, and when Octavia tells her that they’ll take care of Jocasta and looks to Atia to agree, she does. But it’s not terribly convincing.
Pullo is a sad panda about not going off to war because he feels a soldier is all he’s any good at. And his wife tells him she’s pregnant.
The armies meet in Greece – Phillippi. Brutus and Cassius are outnumbered 19 – 14 legions. Cassius wants to retreat, but Brutus isn’t having it. He wishes Cassius a happy birthday and promises him cake next year. And then, it’s time to kill people. So both armies battle and it’s awful and hoards of people die. And Cassius is mortally wounded. Brutus is absolutely gutted as his best friend dies in his arms.
Brutus’ officers try to convince him to make a run for it. But he refuses. Knowing there’s little else left for him to do, Brutus strips off his armor and walks into the midst of the opposing army and starts attacking – visually echoing Caesar’s murder.
And now, the questions.
My favorite part of the episode:
Despite the whole murder for hire aspect, I really did enjoy the exchange between Pullo and Cicero.
Oh, but my absolute favorite part has to be Atia’s insult during her utter amazement about what she perceives as Octavia’s stupidity. She looks at her daughter, half shakes her head and murmurs, “Soft as cheese.” (I plan to make use of this on the regular.)
My least favorite part of the episode:
Definitely poor, traumatized Jocasta. Atia totally knew what would happen to her when she suggested that they kill her father. Oh, and that skeevyass man activley flirting with Vorena the Elder – a child.
Octavia gets it this week. In fact, I like this style so much, I’m gonna make one for myself this summer. Now, it won’t look like this on me because I’m neither tall nor willowy, but I have no fucks to give about that. That dress looks super comfy and the neckline is great, so bring on the pintucks. (Even if it means I have to haul out the iron.)
Team Atia or Team Servilia, and why:
I don’t actually remember seeing Servilia in this episode, but omg fuck Atia!
Favorite watch-a-long tweet (obviously used with permission):
Guess Jess’s head canon:
She’s just convinced that her boys will eventually be happy together.
What made Jenny super happy?
In this episode, I don’t feel like there was a lot she really enjoyed, unless it was the fact that her giant HD TV made things exceptionally clear.
Jess’ take on Phillippi. (Jess is spending some quality time in the ER getting her hand stitched up, so her post will be up later.)