Can You Vague That Up For Me?

Bronwyn Green's Random Thoughts

The Worst Place I’ve Ever Been Stuck – What Happened

Suggestion: If you’re reading this post and are stressed out by current events, I suggest skipping to the last paragraph where there’s a link to something just weird enough to be distracting and possibly amusing. 

So, this post…I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and I’ve been having trouble narrowing my focus. Look…I have a lot of options for an open-ended topic like this. There have been a lot of places I’ve been stuck that have super sucked, and I could blog about them, but honestly, I’m in a shitty place right now, and maybe it just feels so bad because I’m in the middle of it? I don’t even know anymore.

The place I’m stuck right now sucks ass. I’m currently stuck in a near-continual loop of almost paralyzing fear. The months prior to the election, I’d have a political/policy-related nightmare once a week or so. Since the election, I’m having nightmares multiple times a week–sometimes a couple times a night, and well, they’re all variations on a theme. A very orange-y nightmarish, rights stripping, nuclear code having theme.

The fear doesn’t go away when I wake up, either. I think of all of the horrific, soul-crushing scenarios that could possibly happen to the people I love, to the people I don’t know but who are far, far more vulnerable than they were even a month ago. I constantly come up with new and terrifying scenes to torture myself with, and let me tell you, my imagination is fucking vivid. I never used to have panic attacks, but boy howdy, I sure do now.

So, I guess the worst place I’ve ever been stuck is my own mind…and what happened? I don’t know. It probably involves using more inhalers than I should and fighting harder–both my own imagination (which if it’s not going to help me write books needs to sit down and shut the fuck up, already) and the things that are going on in reality.

Okay, so this wasn’t the most cheerful or uplifting post. I apologize. As what will hopefully be a peace offering and distraction, I thought I’d share an older post about the time I was trapped at the tire place with the guy who was telling me his life story and also quizzing me about John Denver, the Rocky Mountains, and the UP. That wasn’t a great place to be stuck, but in retrospect, it’s a fuck of a lot more fun than here. I almost miss that dude.

Be sure to check out the other bloggers’ posts: Gwen, Kellie, JessicaDeelylah, and Paige.

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10 thoughts on “The Worst Place I’ve Ever Been Stuck – What Happened

  1. Pingback: Stuck – Deelylah Mullin Author

  2. Pingback: Random Wednesday: The Worst Place I Have Ever Been Stuck In – jessica de la rosa

  3. Stop apologizing for how you feel, woman! Just be you. ❤ This is a horribly scary time and I think that the positivity movement of the past few years is really fucking people up because they want to stay positive but they can't because everything is so freaking messed up. We're all allowed to feel what we feel, even if it's not positive. Of course, it's not good to dwell in that, but to feel it and acknowledge it is actually way healthier than trying to Susie Sunshine everything. 🙂 And that, is your Kellie Social Worker Moment of the Day. LOL

    P.S. I love you!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Gwen Cease on said:

    I totally agree with Kel. Your blog, your feelings and you have a right to express them. It is a scary time and with crazy in the WH who knows what the hell is going to happen. Just try to stay positive and know the people who love you have your back.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I don’t know anymore, I just don’t. I’m Miss Calm, Nothing Fazes Me, but this mess? It gets scarier every day. Worse than the man in the WH (there are no adequate adjectives to describe him) are the fools in the Congress who smile and nod and think nothing of destroying a nation. History is repeating itself, which is the scariest thought of all.
    The only bright hope, and it is slender, is the continued resistance of the public, you included. I know it’s scary and terrifying, but we have to swallow the terror and speak up. We cannot be silent, not for ourselves or the people we love, or the future.
    If I can give you any words or encouragement, it is this house of cards will collapse. It will. No deed will go unnoticed. Social media will spread awareness. The tide will turn and an implosion will happen. When it does, God knows what it will take with it, but there will be an end.
    So many others stand with you. Their numbers increase every day. We have faced bullies and tyrants before, and we will defeat this one and his cronies.
    I stand with you. Continue to wave your flag of resistance, knowing others are weaving their threads into it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t know if I’m comforted or more terrified that my utterly unfazed Cheryl is…well…fazed. *HUGS*

      I waited a couple days to respond to this because every time I read it, I burst into tears. Yeah, I know. Typical. 😀 But thank you – I needed this. So. Damn. Much.

      Like

  6. Every day since the inauguration, politics have come up at the dinner table where we compare notes on what articles we’ve read and how shitty our future situation is. Occasionally it goes to “how do the people who voted for him not see what we see?”
    I realize I need to stop. However, you can’t “just stop.” But if grandma made it through the depression, Jessica can make it through four years of bad politics. We can do this.

    Liked by 1 person

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